When Lenore Skenazy allowed her 9-year-old son to find his way home alone from Bloomingdale’s, including a trip on the New York City subway, parents from coast to coast were up in arms. They called her “America’s Worst Mom” and many other things that we wouldn’t dare print here.

Skenazy, a writer and columnist, was making an extreme point about children’s independence. She believes that we are being overprotective and smothering our kids.

The goal, [Skenazy] says, is teaching youngsters independence and social skills – within limits.

“I’m not saying we should leave our toddlers outside with no food,” she said. “I’m suggesting taking our kids to a park in our neighborhood so they can meet more children.”

She has coined the term “Free Range Kids” to describe the children whose parents give them more independence. She has since written a book and a website on the subject. Her slogan is that “chickens don’t thrive in cages, and neither do children.”

If we’re understanding it correctly, the idea behind “Free Range Kids” is that your school-aged kiddos don’t actually need a security detail every time they go outside or away from your sight. Bike helmets? Yes. Car seats and seatbelts? Of course. But otherwise, in their own neighborhood or in a familiar area, they can be unsupervised and odds are they will be just fine.

There are many schools of thought about this. Some of us grew up with the run of the neighborhood; after school, moms would shoo all kids outside, where they were fully expected to go entertain themselves till the sun went down. “Go play!” meant “go find some other kids, and stay out of my hair till dinner is ready.” There were no cell phones to check in on—you were just gone for two or three hours, and should try not to break your arm or get lost in the meantime.

That all ended with the kidnapping of Adam Walsh in 1981; suddenly, there was a predator lurking around every corner. Letting your kids go places without an adult was no longer acceptable. And yet… statistically, your child is ten times more likely to be struck by lightning, than to be kidnapped by a stranger.

A story on National Public Radio yesterday interviewed Christie Barnes, the author of The Paranoid Parents Guide: Worry Less, Parent Better and Raise a Resilient Child. She says that the top five fears parents have are kidnapping, school snipers, terrorists, dangerous strangers, and drugs.

Barnes says parents fixate on rare events because they internalize horrific stories they hear on the news or from a friend without stopping to think about the odds the same thing could happen to their children.

But in reality, the five most common external dangers to children are car accidents, homicide committed by someone the child knows (i.e. not a dangerous stranger), abuse by someone the child knows, suicide and drowning.

So, seat belts and pool safety gates are more likely to save your child’s life, than a fear of strangers.

Some say that, by hovering over our kids all the time, we are doing them a disservice, because they aren’t learning how to think for themselves, and make good decisions, and solve problems that they might have to deal with as adults—like how to make change, or read a map, or safely ask a stranger for help without being crippled by fear.

Just for some perspective, read some of the stories sent in by parents at the Free Range Kids blog. You have to admit that the story of the 3-year-old who saved her dad’s life by walking to the fire station for help, or the 7-year-old who walks to the corner barbershop by himself, are thought-provoking.

Whatever your comfort level is with your child’s independence, Savvy parents know that the way to stay one step ahead of those clever kiddos is to always be learning and thinking about new challenges in parenting. We don’t all have to be a Lenore Skenazy, or completely give up our paranoia… but we can consider different perspectives as we each make the daily decisions about what is best for our own families.