Did you know that this is National Etiquette Week? It’s true, and what a perfect time to share some of our favorite etiquette thoughts.

First of all, etiquette isn’t about anything more complicated than using good manners: being considerate of others, being gracious, being grateful. Does it help to know which fork to use for dessert (the one placed on top of your plate) or for the shrimp cocktail (the little tiny one, which you can use to get the meat out of the shell)? Sure it helps… but everyday manners are far more important. It’s better to be known as the nice person who ate from the wrong bread plate than the jerkface who mocked someone for it.

Still, I am a fan of etiquette rules the way some people know baseball stats or the order of American presidents; it just stuck. I find the finer points of etiquette and protocol fascinating like other people would be able to tell you who all the Real Housewives of New Jersey are. And that arcane knowledge has actually come in useful… because when you know the rules, you know which ones can be broken. So as a self-proclaimed etiquette nerd, I share with you now my favorite experts and guides:

Amy Vanderbilt is an arriviste; Emily Post and her family are the true experts. If you only own one etiquette guide, let it be this one. Emily Post’s Etiquette is the true encyclopedia of good manners.

Judith Martin, aka “Miss Manners”, is another one of my faves. She is clever, gracious and Savvy, and brooks no foolishness. She writes the etiquette column for the Washington Post, and her advice is wonderfully sensible. In a recent column, Miss Manners tackles a middle-schooler’s locker issues, whether second-time moms can have showers, and why we split up couples at dinner parties. Fabulous!

Tiffany’s Table Manners for Teenagers is a quick read for anyone who wants to get a good basic understanding of why and how we should act when we are dining. (Sadly, more people than we would like!)

And if you’re looking for something slightly less stuffy than any of these, The Art and Power of Being a Lady is good, and Classy: Exceptional Advice for the Extremely Modern Lady is hysterical.

But truly, the most important thing is to be considerate and kind. Don’t stress over the shrimp fork; no one uses them anymore anyway.