Last year for Thanksgiving, I undertook a massive effort. M-a-s-s-i-v-e. I prepped for months. Dinner for 10, full turkey, multiple courses, signature cocktails, everything homemade. It was a Very Stepford Thanksgiving… and did I mention that I wasn’t even in my own kitchen? I love to cook and entertain, and even for me, it was an enormous feat.

Of course I had loads of help (and I can’t say enough good things about the Holiday Hotline at Central Market)… but I’m taking this year off. This Thanksgiving, my big cooking plans are Pillsbury cinnamon rolls during the Macy’s parade, and reservations for dinner before the Texas game. Seriously!

So, as I kick back in my slippers, not reviewing my grocery list, just relaxing (okay, I’ll stop rubbing it in), I’m here to help all of y’all that are dealing with family and kitchen stress in 2009. Here are some suggestions and resources for some of the biggest Thanksgiving crazymakers.

The Turkey: At this point, I’m assuming you’ve got your turkey decision made. If you don’t, get cracking—a frozen bird needs time to safely thaw and you’re at T-72 hours. If you don’t already have a game plan for a frozen whole bird, consider buying a fresh one, or doing just the turkey breast.

• Turkey purchasing and preparation tips from Butterball
• General turkey tips from Martha Stewart

The Equipment: Whether you need a roasting rack, a meat thermometer, a Silpat pan for cookies, crystal sugar for the top of your pie, a dough cutter, a gravy separator— a Thanksgiving kitchen is all about the proper tools.

Now, you need to walk that fine line between what Alton Brown decries as a unitasking tool… and getting the right thing that will make your life simpler when Thanksgiving dinner is on the line. You have three options.

• Good enough: Target’s cooking gadget aisle. The selection isn’t very deep, but their offerings are cheap and you will likely find a decent-enough option.
• Better: Sur la Table (at Lakeside Market on Preston in Plano) is a chef’s gadget dream. They have every obscure item you could possibly want or need, and some that you never knew existed. Of course this amazing professional-grade selection comes with matching steep prices, so caveat emptor.
• Best: Williams-Sonoma (many CoCo locations, including Stonebriar Centre) hits the sweet spot between selection, price and most importantly, customer service. I went in last year with a sheaf full of recipes and a twitchy, wary look in my eye, and I walked out with renewed kitchen confidence and some great cooking tools. Their staff is extremely knowledgeable and can answer just about any question you might have.
  
  Now, W-S isn’t giving it away either… but these are investment pieces that you can use year-round, or at least for every Thanksgiving for the rest of your life.

Stress Management: If you are the head of your kitchen and coordinating all of Thanksgiving is your job, you need to remember a few tips to stay sane this week.

• Have a game plan. Don’t just walk into Kroger and think you’ll figure it out on the fly; that’s a sure way to end up making 14 trips. Make a list. Count your guests, and consider their ages… children, teens, men, women, seniors all eat differently. Check your pantry and fridge for items you might already have against every single recipe; there’s nothing more annoying than being in the middle of a dish and going for the condensed milk that you were just sure you had, only to find out that you didn’t… and now your egg whites are deflating while hubby runs to the store.
• Better safe than sorry. Toss a couple of extras in your basket of these items that you can never have too many of, during Thanksgiving cooking:
  • white onions
  • lemons
  • garlic heads
  • unsalted butter
  • Pillsbury crescent rolls
  • a box of Pepperidge Farm entertaining crackers
  • low-sodium chicken broth
  • evaporated milk
  • red wine
• Delegate. When the sister-in-law asks what she can bring, tell her! Assign appetizers, sides and wine to your guests. Don’t be a hero and say, “No, no, we’re fine.” It makes people feel useful and special to contribute, even in a small way like bringing the rolls. That’s a win for your stress and a win for your guests’ feelings.
• Allow yourself down time. If you like to have a full two hours for a nice bath before getting dressed for dinner, plan that. If you want to go out to dinner on Wednesday night because you can’t bear the thought of cooking before the Big Day, do it.
• Realize that it’s not a competition. Even when it is, sometimes. Because, let’s be honest… the family member who likes to tsk-tsk (because that’s not how she would have done it) is all too common. Just smile and remember that it says far more about her than it does about you.
  
  
  And remember this: no one looks back in ten or twenty years and thinks about the absolutely perfect mashed potatoes. They remember the family moments and the fun and the love. As long as you are providing that, the rest of it is literally just gravy.

The Slacker Solution: Don’t forget that many markets are offering a fully-prepared meal (turkey with all the sides), but you ought to order today. Tom Thumb, Whole Foods, Market Street… they will do the work for you if you order in advance.

And don’t forget that our Dallas-area Facebook fans are in the drawing for our “Savvy Sanity” basket, to be given away this Friday! Fan us on FB and throw your hat in the ring.

Art credit: The beautiful Martha illustration is by Joshua Retterer. You should hire him for your illustrating needs.